Slice of Pie

Getting told by a fellow line cook as I'm making what I like to call The Porker 'Za, the Man, Bourdain or any other pig lover would be proud of me pizza. I finally told her I'm a vegetarian and her response was as follows

You are fucked up, you know that right? Why don't you practice more habits of what you eat?

People are generally afraid of healthy food and living. I've been to a raw food bar or two and found myself eating a slice of greasy, heart stopping, almost heavenly goodness of pizza that no doubt sat under a heat lamp for a good hour or two. Why? I wasn't full. Spending fifteen bucks on what was supposed to be a Raw Veggie Burger, which it sounded far different on paper.

Sunflower seeds mashed into a fine paste to make a tortilla alternative which was supposed to replace the bun. Shredded lettuce, avocado, red onions, and tomatoes then topped it. It was served with three dipping sauces however that were rather weak. Sun Dried Tomato Pesto, and two other mayonnaise based sauces I couldn't put my finger on. They certainly weren't that amazing otherwise I would have been able to describe them better, or at all.

Back to why I love cooking terrible food. We all love to indulge in the fatty, processed, rich and highly caloric foods. It what binds America together. I feel my heart palpitating dreaming such gastronomical endeavors because we are on the top of the food chain. I can do that. I can cook that, I can cook this, marinade that, cook one animal in another animal's fat.

We are selfish, we are human after all. What you eat will eventually haunt you, but so does the alimony checks you pay to your high school sweetheart who became a lesbian. You only live once. If you want something fast and unsatisfying get Burger King. If you want something slower and halfway satisfying, dine in at a nice sit down joint. If you want a memory, catch it, kill it, and cook it yourself.