Don't Bite The Hand That Feeds

Why do people ask you a question and then turn their back upon the initiation of the pending conversation?

Soo, are you an arteeest?

In some form of offbeat French accent.

Well, I do cook so I suppose I am.

Before I could even finish, her back was turned as she was engaging in conversation with someone behind her. It's the equivilant to the Hey, how are you today? inquiry. I don't think you really care, or for that matter really want to hear.

Well, I'm hungover from last night. My back is throbbing along with my feet from standing all day. I have this lovely dribbling line of sweat going down my ass crack. I think I ate something last night I shouldn't have because I spent the latter part of my lunch break throwing up an un-recognizable substance. Oh, and you have the nerve to go out to eat on a Friday night and are the pickiest mother fucker I have ever dealt with. Why do you even eat out?

Somehow, I don't think someone wants to hear that. Especially while I'm standing in front of you cooking your food. Don't ask something if you don't want to know.

You start your onslaught with the preamble of
Sir, I don't mean to be rude...

Which really means...
Hey, I'm about to be a real pain in your ass again because I think you should be kissing my ass and you aren't, and oh yes. I do think I can do anybody's job better than them. Just ask my mailman.

Greatest lesson in life? Never piss off and bite the hand that feeds. Cooks hear it from the waitrons, hell I can even hear it walking through the dining room. We have our ways of dealing with you.