Breakthroughs

So, if anybody has ever been in a recovery group, or at least knows the process
The one phrase that gets repeated most is,
"Most addicts will give up their addiction, only to breed another"
Something I heard all the time, and even now six and a half years later I finally get it
Sure, I gave up my drugs, picked up the suds, but that's not the breakthrough
The breakthrough came when I realized something,
Something mystical, something new

All the schemes, the lies, the trickery, my aggressive nature, my destructive habits,
My nightmares, my fantasies, my attention to detail...
It all came back into my hands again, it came into a new realm
It came into food, it came into my dreams, my ambitions of one day being a Chef
All those lost years and hours spent looking to score,
All these years and hours spent looking to make a perfect recipe
For all I knew for so long was mix one part blind ambition, tack on a little baggie
A few twirls of the hand...perfectly numb, perfectly oblivious,
perfectly broke, but that was my escape

The equation strangely remains the same, but has different coefficients
Some new variables to take into consideration

Sometimes the question of "who are you?" isn't the best
At times it's better to ask "WHAT are you?"