The vultures,
They circle over a forbidden heart
A heart that has not yet died,
But is black as the night

They feast,
In patterns they swarm
Diving, and tearing flesh
Piece by piece until the bones are dry

Where do we go when we are the hunted?
Where do we run to when the ghosts are behind us?

Do we turn around to face them?
Do we run away and talk in circles?

Life is a giant merry go round,
Where the scenery changes everyday
Yet we call it progress
Because it's a new picture

Trials

It's taken me far too long to finally have the ambition to better myself
Sure, I have drive, passion, and ambition that people see and I don't
I now see what the world (I presume) sees in me
I don't know if they are right, and I've been ignorant this whole time
Or if what I see is the truth, the real side of me nobody knows
But they see it. They have to.

If I could die right now, be reborn, and come back as something different
Perhaps, an animal...
Maybe if the entire human race did such a thing,
Maybe we could learn appreciation
Be who we are, and not live in our greedy, selfish human nature ways
Maybe we were better off as primates as opposed to being human

Today I saw two bums fight, one pepper sprayed the other
I had no idea where to stand in the situation
I also so my dear friend's baby, my goddaughter, but only in pictures
I wanted to be there as it happened

If I can give just one person advice in life it would be as follows:

Don't fuck up the one thing you have going, whether it be a friend, an enemy, a love, a life...We spend too much time it seems trying to forget memories. They are memories for a reason. Hold them close, and always keep your pride higher than your chin.

Walls pt 1

Breaking down, no sound
Silence is the reigning king
But what is silence?
Better times? Forgotten memories?
Forgotten faces? Lost voices?

Voices we remember, yet can't hear
Faces we love, but can't remember the lines
From the jaw, to the chin, up to the lips
The beating heart, their eyelashes as they blink
While your fast asleep

I always thought I was a man of my word
Apparantly there was something I forgot
My words
If I could show you the world through my tired eyes
My aching back, my blistered feet, my bleeding fists
I don't think it's something you want to see

*Insert Title Name*

I'm forcing these words through fingertips, thought through the brain to make the actions. For tonight has been a night of nostalgia. Talking to old friends, thinking of old memories, old tunes we used to jam from bands that have died off. Maybe they haven't died off, but it's all the same.

If it's too good to be true, it probably is. The matter of fact lies within how bad you want you it.

People tend to neglect the fact that everything is obtainable. Our dreams are direct refelctions of our passion, and our desire.

They are merely fallen stars. The burn for so long before we see them fade away. Mostly because we let them fall away. We watch them burn, and fade away.

I'm not letting mine burn, so what's the price to pay for glory?

Note To The Editor

As I sit here and listen to fireworks intertwined with gunshots through my shoddy one room apartment, I read something that makes me ponder.

Life is a story that we write page by page everyday. You never know when the editor will ask you to turn in your assignment.

Some of you may view that as a negative thing, I for one found that to be a total pick me up. The glass is always half full when you enjoy the beverage that is coming out of it.

There is alot of things, and people more so often that tend to almost go out of their way to bring us down. To ruin us, destroy our hopes, destroy our lives in some cases. Why? Was it something you did? Said? Most of the time no. It's for being who you are. Jealousy is so deeply rooted in humanity that it makes me choke.

For instance look at the Silverback Gorillas. They have one head leader in their pack. He is the one who teaches, helps, works, and loves. The rest of his pack would follow him to the ends of the Earth because he is a leader, a lover, someone who inspires. Why can't humans follow someone like that? Instead we all try to out do one another with the latest trend, style, material item, material girl...or boy depending on who you are.

We idolize people who have millions of dollars, have sex with hundreds of people, drive the fastest, sportiest cars, who have the nicest houses, butlers, maids and the whole nine yards. We idolize sports stars, movie stars, musicians and for what? Did we idolize them before they got big? Of course not. We don't idolize aspiration. You just get called a sell out once you make money.

No my dear readers, we should idolize the few in the generation below us who do have hopes, dreams, a future that is not yet written, but they decided to write their own. Those are the people we should love and support.

Every So Often

I come back to this feeling. This impatience, the lack of sleep, the brain that keeps wrapping itself around a fingers that it can control, but can't. It takes the mind to be able to control the surrounding situations, feelings, emotions. The mind controls the heart, the beating, blood pulsating through veins. Muscles contracting, ligaments streching, nerves feeling.

A heightened sense of touch, smell, taste, a passion living, a breathing living organism more so than that what the body can totally perceive. Rage makes drunks, depression makes pill-poppers, confusion makes stoners, the creator needs nothing more than a hammer, a nail, and an idea. For motivation is always deep within oneself. Much like inteliect is nothing more than opportunities that are found, and ignored.

Everyone should have to spend some time in the food industry. Have it be a mandatory thing like signing up for Selective Service. A statement I proposed tonight to a very sweet person, and her reply...

Well, would that make the world more appreciative or bitter?

If people could only see the mental struggles, the stress, the heat, the passion, and more so the drive that cooks and servers go through (and everyone in between) to give you your food hot, fresh, and on a clean plate? I don't think people would go out anymore. We work with hours for people almost shoulder to shoulder. You have your cubicles, and Ipod to relieve your stress and motivate you through the day. All we have at the end of the night is our pride.

Sure, it may make the world bitter and groan at first. I for one would love to see a rich lawyer's son have to wash dishes at a resturant, but would I want to deal with him? Of course not.

Appreciation and chivarly are not some distant cities in France. They may sound it, but they aren't. I promise. The best advice I can, and will ever give someone is Don't bite the hand that feeds, or delievers.

Born To Die

The only meaning behind the title is it just happens to be the title of the song I'm listening to, and I don't feel like being witty. This is more of a "journal" blog as opposed to a giant rant of thought, anger, rage, etc. It lacks a purpose, but what the reader gets out of it is all up to the reader.

The past few nights at work have been one giant blur. If you follow this I already talked about the drunk guy, and kitchen virgin. So, drunk guy comes back today finally and safely assuming he is going through withdraws of alcohol. Which made me feel strange. I wanted to attempt to console him and help him out (I learned deep secrets of his family life today from another guy I work with, and I can't condone his drinking but it does make sense. I won't tell the details)

I also saw his passion and desire for the first time in forever. I'm assuming he quit drinking just for this job, and sure it's not anything spectacular and I don't think he can handle it, and his time in kitchens is up but seeing the desperation in a man's eyes while he hasn't said a word to you in days? Made me think. It actually made me see if you will.

I commented to my boss about him being out of it, and still fucking things up but I also believe in him. I think for once this almost 40 year old man belives in himself. If he so happens to read this, I'm glad. If not, well it might be for the better but might not as well. I believe in you kid, hang in there.

I also believe in humanity again. My ride home tonight came from two girls "on the verge of missing curfew" as I was walking to the gas station to continue onward to home. I invited them in for lunch/dinner on me whenever I am there. One of them said "I'm glad to see chivarly isn't dead" I replied with "I treat someone as well or as poorly as they treat me".

That's the whole point. She is right. Chivarly is a dying cause, and being a complacent asshole wins everytime. Who is happier in the end though? The girl who gets treated like shit and is forced into submission, or the prick who knows how to control someone to get his dick wet?

My point is what goes around, comes around. The golden rule is a powerful thing, and karma is even more set in stone. You piss off karma and it haunts you. You mention murphy and his law and he's out to get you. In the end of it all where are you happiest at? Getting your ass kicked because you spoke up, or getting you ass kicked because you didn't?